Tanya's Evil Lair


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Here are some of my favorite quotes... They are all from Law and Order SVU cuz SVU does have the best quotes! See Quotes Page 2 for other quotes =)
Okay, I have SO many quotes here so I'm gonna stop for now unless something REALLY good comes up. I may take some off eventually. idk (i dont know) yet...
Well Quotes Page 2 is up and running. See my other quotes there!

Law and Order SVU quotes from "Wrath"
Elliot: I didn't tell you about the detail because I knew you'd refuse.
Olivia: Only the rat-squad puts cops on other cops, Elliot, without telling them. I deserve better than that. Especially from you.
Elliot: [pause] You've been under a lot of stress lately...
Olivia: I've always backed your play.
Elliot: And I did what I had to do. The guy's murdered four people, what's to stop him from coming after you, Olivia?
Olivia: If you can't trust your partner, Elliot, it's time to get a new one. -"Wrath"
Olivia: This is between us, Mr. Plummer. Why don't you let her go, and then it's just you and me.
Plummer: How's it feel, Detective Benson, to have your credibility shattered and your life in ruins?
Olivia: It sucks.
Plummer: I was innocent.
Olivia: Yes you were. But then you killed four innocent people.
Plummer: Three innocent people, one child abuser. I thought cops cared about the facts?
Olivia: Why did you choose them?
Plummer: They were suffering and they needed their misery to end. Who was gonna help 'em, you?
Olivia: I'm sorry for what happened to you. I really am. I can't turn back the clock. But I can testify for you on your behalf, and I can admit in an open court that I am responsible for you.
Plummer: [laughs] There's not going to be a trial. Not this time.
Olivia: Let her go and let's just talk about it.
Plummer: There's nothing to discuss.
Olivia: Please, Mr. Plummer. Don't think I won't.
Plummer: You know I'm counting on it, Detective Benson. [he puts his other hand on the gun aimed at the woman's head, getting ready to pull the trigger.]
Olivia: Don't do it, drop your weapon! DROP YOUR WEAPON!
Plummer: [whispers] There aren't any bullets in my gun. [he starts to pull the trigger, and Olivia shoots him.]  -"Wrath"
And right after...
Olivia: I gotta give my statement.
Elliot: I'll take it...
Olivia: YOU leave me alone. -"Wrath"
Quote from Law and Order SVU episode "Chameleon"
Olivia: Sit down in the chair, Maggie.
Maggie: Where's Elliot?
Olivia: Just us girls now. SIT.(pause) That act of yours was a whole lotta fun to watch. But you should know that it's not gonna work with me.
Maggie: What act?
Olivia: Pretend to be a victim, you can pretend to be a whore, you can pretend to be whatever it is you wanna be. It's a joke. Maggie, you're done.
Maggie: Where's my son?
Olivia: Oh... see, that's not gonna work either.
Maggie: I do not believe that you are talking to me this way. I was RAPED more times than I can REMEMBER!
Olivia: Right, and your mom died, and your dad beat ya. (Maggie nods)Your mom's alive. No dad on the birth certificate, you never knew him, did you? Was your mom a pro, too?
Maggie: Where's my son? I need to see him.
Olivia: Your son? You're never gonna see that kid again. You MURDERED seven men for a HOTEL ROOM and a MANICURE!
Maggie: They RAPED me!
Olivia: You want the whole world to think that you're a victim? Well Maggie, you're getting your wish. Because the state's gonna kill you.
(Maggie tries to attack Olivia, and Olivia tackles and handcuffs her) -"Chameleon"
Munch: Blood stains kind of clash with school colors, huh? (episode unknown)
Olivia Benson: I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, like you carry a purse.
Olivia Benson: That's 'cause you carry it for me.
Elliot Stabler: Heh... - A Single Life (I just saw it last night and had to put the episode next to the quote. I promise to change the other's as soon as I know!
More Quotes from SVU.. I got these from someone's fanfiction profile.. I dont know where they come from even if I have seen them in the show...

Alex Cabot: A woman can say anything she wants to about your performance in the bedroom and you aren't actually allowed to kill her.

Alex Cabot: [On women's rights] They've proven they have the right to die by lethal injection just like any man.

[About a pedophile's defense attorney]
Cabot: He is as bad as his client. Hoping the victim is too traumatized to testify. He's lucky I didn't knock his teeth down his throat! (Walks away)
Captain Cragen: I'd pay real money to see that

Police Psychiatrist: We still have 45 minutes.
John Munch: Well, I could give you a complete detailed account of my sex life... but what are we going to do with the other 44 minutes?

Fin Tutuola: You have the right to an attorney and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill ya.

ADA Casey Novak: [Novak goes to a judge's home to get a signature on a search warrant. She finds him playing poker with four other judges] I've had this nightmare before, only I was naked.

Quotes from "Tangled"
Olivia:  (looking through a photo album) They look so happy.
Elliot: If the container could not possibly hold the item in question you are prohibited from examining it.
Olivia: This is last New Year's. Do any marriages last?
Elliot: I don't know, but the warrant only covers jewelry.
Olivia: God, you've been married for 17 years, haven't you?
Elliot: Stop.
Olivia: Sorry.
Elliot: No, stop looking. (finds jewelry in cigar box) Try smoking this. -"Tangled"
Alex: He loved you, but he didn't trust you. -"Tangled"
Olivia: Mrs. Kleberg, I'm so sorry. But your husband planned this whole thing.
Peyton Kleberg: That doesn't make any sense. Why would Max set up his own death?
Elliot: He wasn't supposed to die.... you were.(dun dun dunnnnn!) -"Tangled"
Quote from "Taken" (its really sad... *tear*)
Fin: Benson...
Olivia: Hm?
Fin: Cragen's looking for you.
(Olivia gets a "what'd I do this time?" look and walks to Cragen's office)
Olivia: Hey, we just found our guy from the Miller case. Can this wait?
Cragen: Close the door.
Olivia: What?
Cragen: Sit down, Olivia.
Olivia: What??
Cragen: Really, I think you should sit down.
Olivia: Just tell me, what's going on?
Cragen: Your mother had an accident. [long pause] I'm so sorry. She didn't make it.
Olivia: How?
Cragen: She fell...down the subway steps. 110th and Broadway.
Olivia: No.... my mother never takes the subway. (Olivia's facial expression at this point is COMPLETELY HEARTBREAKING!)
Cragen: The entrance outside the Velvet Room.
Olivia: [long pause] She was drunk. (Cragen nods, and a single tear rolls down Olivia's cheek...) (awww *tear*) -"Taken"
Claire: (to Fin) I would hug you, but I can tell you don't like to be touched. -"Denial" (This is after Fin gave her a picture of her dead sister so she can remember what she looks like without being high. Yeah, Claire is a junkie)

I dont know what episodes these quotes are from, either. When I find out, I will post it. =)

[Stabler drove out of his way to check on Benson] 
Olivia Benson: I sure as hell wouldn't drive all the way to Queens just to save *your* ass.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, you would. 
Olivia Benson: [pause] OK, but only because you have a wife and kids. 
Elliot Stabler: Yeah.

Randolph Morrow: Honey, I'd like some mineral water, a little ice.
Detective Olivia Benson: Yeah, well, I'd like your balls in a blender, but ain't life a bitch.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Maybe you shouldnt've called her "honey".

[Benson and Stabler are going to a party store to try to find a suspect] Detective Stabler: While we're there, remind me to get party tape for the twins' birthday party. I don't want to have to use crime scene tape.

Detective Odafin 'Fin' Tutuola: Why do we always get stuck looking for the needle in the haystack?
Det. John Munch: Yeah, it's reminds me of the Easter egg hunts of my youth.
Detective Odafin 'Fin' Tutuola: Your family's Jewish, you guys don't hide eggs. Det. John Munch: I know, all those mindless hours of searching.

Quotes from Law and Order SVU episode "Counterfeit"
Fin: Alright! Nice dress!
Olivia: Yeah, well, it was a nice date. Where's Munch?
Fin: He rang in sick.
Olivia: He's such a hypochondriac. How many times has he had anthrax this week?! -"Counterfeit"

Cragen: Nice dress.
Olivia: Don't start. -"Counterfeit"

(Munch walks by on crutches)
Fin: I can't wait to hear this.
Munch: Your sympathy is overwhelming.
Olivia: What happened to you?
Munch: Skydiving, hard landing.
Elliot: He wiped out riding his friend's Harley.
Cragen: Now the only thing he'll be riding is a desk.
A Quote from Law and Order SVU episode "Hysteria"
Munch: Miss Webber was told to disrobe, put her feet up in stirrups, and try to picture David Hasselhoff on Baywatch.
Defense Attorney: Objection! Your honour, this witness is not qualified to testify on the treatment for hysteria.
Munch: Actually, sir, I am. Up until 1952, hysteria was one of the most commonly diagnosed illnesses among women. The medical treatment was hysterical peroxism.
Court Reporter: Could the witness spell that?
Munch: O-R-G-A-S-M
Defense: Objection!  Would it surprise you to learn that, historically, the onus fell upon physicians to bring about the relief of these ladies' symptoms?
Prosecution: Your honour, please instruct counsel to withold his questions until cross.
Munch: I don't mind, your honour.  In fact, I believe the manual version of this treatment dates back to Hippocrates and was attested to right up until the Middle Ages, up until the 1890s, when the vibrator was invented to speed things along.
Prosecution and Defense: (in unison) Objection!
Judge: Sustained.
Prosecution: Detective, is this practice currently against the law?
Munch: Yes.  And so is videotaping it. -Hysteria

Law and Order SVU quotes from episode "Waste"
[scene right after a victim's father has punched Elliot  in the face]
Fin: Questioning the father as a suspect is never a crowd pleaser.
Munch: Verbal vitrayel you'd expect. Anyone else think the father protested a bit too much?
Elliot: You're not a father.
Fin: And you don't have a raped daughter in a coma with a devilcake in the oven.
Elliot: That you just tried to abort.
Munch: Well, we'll know if it's Dad's soon enough. When do we get the products of conception for testing?
Elliot: We don't. They're keeping it.
Fin: Why?
Elliot: Wife's Catholic.
Munch: Still, I've never had a keeper with a stranger rape before.
Elliot: John, Olivia's mom was raped by a stranger.
Olivia: My mother made a choice.
Elliot: Look, Olivia, we were just talking about...[voice trails off and is cut off by Olivia]
Olivia: Oh, save it. If the same thing happened to me... morning after pill, no question. -"Waste"
Maxine: I only took it [Wesley's wallet] so I could turn him in. Creep tried to strangle me.
Elliot: Serious charge. Why drop it?
Maxine: I didn't like the way I was bein' treated. I tried to tell my story and your boys in blue put it back on me.
Olivia: You wanna tell us, we'll listen.
Maxine: So, I'm sittin in this chicken joint like 3am this guy comes over, starts askin me about the chicken.
Elliot: The chicken...
Maxine: Yeah. He offers to buy me some..
Elliot: Some chicken...
Maxine: Yeah. Only when we get up to the motel room to eat it...
Elliot: Maxine, the guy's a john.
Maxine: You're all alike. I'm a pro, so it doesn't matter he tried to KILL ME.
Olivia: We don't care about your night job, we're just tryin to get the story straight.
Maxine: So we get up to the motel room, I ask him how he wants it, I'm supposed to strip naked, lay flat on my back, not move a muscle, not say a sound.
Elliot: You've got a problem with that?
Maxine: No. He's the one who had a little problem, if you know what I mean.
Olivia: Okay, so you laughed at him, he chokes you.
Maxine: No, I was very understanding, 'til he started filling the tub wit' ice.
Elliot: For what?
Maxine: He told me to lay in it. I'm like "no way". That's when he chokes me.
Olivia: He was tryin to lower your body temperature.
Maxine: He said he couldn't do it unless I really seemed dead.
Dr. Mendell: You interferred with a medical emergency.
Olivia: What's that? Doc-talk for coverup? -"Waste"
Olivia: You've got to be kidding me.
Elliot: Wesley, what is this thing with you, water, and women?
Wesley: I'm just doing my job.(so your job is to be a necrophiliac sicko?!)
Olivia: I mean, hot showers I get, but ice baths? -"Waste"

Quotes from SVU episode "Fallacy"
If hate to spoil the fun of watching the episode BUT for your FYI, Cheryl Avery isnt really a woman if you catch my drift. Now you're just gonna have to watch it to find out all about it. Haha. I win. Now read the quote!
Berger: I told Cheryl about your deal. But she wants to go to trial.
Alex: She does or you do?
Berger: Do you know why I became a lawyer, Alex?
Alex: Uh, to see your face on TV? (Damn straight he did. That freak.)
Arthur Branch: Reptile though he may be, Morty Berger is a damn good attorney.

Cheryl: Look, you have to help me, I cannot stay here.
Olivia: Cheryl, you plead guilty. You knew that you were going to prison...
Cheryl: I'm a woman. And they put me in a cell with men!
Olivia: [to Berger] You didn't tell her?
Berger: I told her to go to trial.
Olivia: Bull! You set her up for your own career. What, the murder case wasn't enough for you?
Berger: The Civil Rights issue is more pressing.
Olivia: Fine, you're gonna ride it all the way to the Supreme Court, aren't you?
Berger: Why not? This could be a precedent setting case.
Olivia: Yeah. Not to mention a juicy story. A woman in a man's prison?! You'll have the media drooling! [to Cheryl] I'm sorry.
Cheryl: Just help me. -"Fallacy"
Olivia: You know the only one that came to support her [Cheryl] was her sister?....
Elliot: And you.
Olivia: Yeah. But I'm not family. -"Fallacy"
Olivia: Hey. I'm headin' out. You wanna grab a drink?
Alex: Thank you. But you know, I am just not in the mood.
Olivia: Well, neither am I, but I don't feel much like goin' home.
Alex: Do you think I pushed Cheryl too hard?
Olivia: You did your job.
Alex: Then why do I feel so lousy?
Olivia: Because you look at Cheryl, and you can't imagine what it's like to feel that your own body is a mistake.
[Alex nods, Olivia's cell phone rings]
Olivia: [on phone] Benson. We'll be right there.
Alex: What's up?
Olivia: I gotta go to Bellevue. You should come with me.
[at Bellevue]
Olivia: Special Victims Unit, you called about a rape victim?
Nurse: They're taking him up to surgery now.
Alex: [looking at Cheryl on the gurney] What happened?
Nurse: Cheryl Avery was gang raped at Rikers. -"Fallacy"

Michael Gardner: Why didn't you question me, Detective Benson?
Det. Olivia Benson: I was preparing your victim for the lineup.
Michael Gardner: Oh. So it wasn't because I punched you earlier that night?
ADA Alexandra Cabot: Objection! Relevance?
Michael Gardner: I'm trying to ascertain whether or not the detective has a personal stake in my rest in prosecution.
Judge Lois Preston: I'll allow it.
Det. Olivia Benson: I have no personal stake in you.
Michael Gardner: You're not mad at me? Or, uh, embarrassed that I eluded your grasp in front of your colleagues?
Det. Olivia Benson: It's not uncommon for a perpetrator to lose control of himself. And I have certainly been hit much harder. -Futility

Random Quotes:
Ricki Austin: Leave us alone!
Olivia: Ricki, your daughter needs help.
Ricki Austin: Get away before I call the police!
Olivia: Mrs. Austin, I AM the police! -"Abuse"
The best-est quote:
Olivia: We blame all kinds of people for creating monsters. Why not ourselves?
Good Quote:
Alex: For future reference, if your client intimidates the informant in any way I will have his bail revoked and his ass thrown in Rikers for the duration of the trial.
Zappatta: You can't threaten me, bitch.
Alex: I just did. -"Loss"
Good quote from the same episode as above, "Loss"
Olivia: Alex, you couldn't have done anything differently. Donovan made a choice.
Alex: We all did. -"Loss"
I dont know the episdoe this quote came from but I like it:
Fin: Why do we always get stuck looking for the needle in the haystack?
Munch: Yeah, it reminds me of the Easter egg hunts of my youth.
Fin: Your family's Jewish; you guys don't hide eggs.
Munch: I know, all those mindless hours of searching.